The Lighthouse

the lighthouse

03 March 2009

Saddest story

A follow-up to yesterday's post. My sister was telling me about a daytime talk show she watched today, which discussed neglected children. One story was about a little girl who was so badly, so totally left alone, that at the age of 6, she had developed only to the age of 2 months. Take a moment to sit with that. Imagine yourself in the presence of a 2 month old, think about its fragility, its limited abilities. This girl was drinking out of a baby bottle, in diapers, no language skills, had a fear of contact with other people...and so on. Her mom said she did the best she could, that she loved her daughter. She 'loved' the little girl who slept on a rotting mattress, who had cockroach bites covering her body.
When doctors assessed the 6 year old girl, they determined that her lack of development was due to neglect: no interaction, no stimulation. Her neural pathways had formed randomly rather than in the structured, organized way that is normal. They're not sure what her chances are of learning language, social skills...or anything at all. Fortunately she has been adopted by a caring family who are committed to her, so at least she will have touch, and tenderness, and love from now on.
Imagine yourself again with that 2 month old baby. Even if you had no experience with children and were somewhat uncomfortable with them, wouldn't you be tempted to hold her, talk to her, tickle her tummy...marvel at her fingers and toes?
My smallest nephew - still to reach the one year mark - loves to imitate our sounds and gestures. I wrote a post earlier about his 'night night' routine, and these days he's smacking his mouth and saying 'ga' (his version of mwah as he blows kisses). We don't sit him down in a class setting, with a daily agenda of skills for him to master. He's growing and learning because there are people in the room who love him and just can't help interacting with him. I love getting responses from him, hearing his laughter, watching him learn new things. It's such a delight, and it's happening with so very little effort from any of us.
The sad addendum to this story is that there are enough children who are neglected, that a specialized field of therapy has developed. Doctors in this specialty conjecture that feral children - for that's what they are - are more common than we can suppose. How many children have just hours of contact with their parents in any week? The true tragedy is that neglect has no cure in the very young. A person can overcome abuse, but neglect is not repairable.
For a very long time to come, I'm going to be offering a special prayer every day for these little ones. I'm sure that God has a special place in heaven for children who go to Him, never having known a day of love in their life.

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