Reassurance

I haven't written about my dad in a while, though he's always in my thoughts. I think the sharp edge of grief has eased somewhat, though it is still there. I feel him especially while at Mass, and I was thinking this morning that it was while at Mass that his illness saddened me the most while he was still alive.
I wasn't particularly emotional before I left for Church this morning - it's a fine and cheery day - but when I was praying before Mass began, I was hit by a wave of missing him. It was so strong and so unexpected I was hardly able to control myself. I really needed reassurance from him that he was ok. Does that sound weird? I know being in heaven, in the company of the saints, in the Presence of God is a very good thing - the very best thing - I just needed a pat on the head and to know he wasn't there reluctantly.
Well, the second verse of the Psalm today (116: 15,16) patted me on the head:
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints
Oh Lord, I am thy servant; I am thy servant, the son of thy handmaid.
Thou hast loosed my bonds.
It reminded me...comforted me...that all the ordeal is done for him. I don't have to worry about him. He is free now in a way that we cannot fathom, and all he has done, and is doing now is undertaken willingly.
That brought a great deal of peace to me, and the day has been filled with hope and promise since then. A special delight has been seeing Number Two Nephew wearing one of Pop's ties. This slip of a boy, wearing a man's tie with such dignity and panache was something to see. I'm sure there was something of Pop in his face today, too.
I am so blessed, that God is patient with me. Each and every time I ask for it, He sends me reassurance that He's still there, looking after me. He has a special intermediary now... a voice I love so well - my beloved Pop.