Taking stock

Today brings the day that I traditionally reflect, ponder, and take stock, as I add another year to my collection. That collection of years has grown to a shocking size with an astounding number; one which at the tender age of 15 I thought was ancient and ever beyond my reach. Yet shockingly here I am, ancient, with this age firmly in hand. It doesn't feel at all like I thought it would. Apparently the number isn't accompanied by greater maturity, knowledge, awareness or sobriety, for this morning I met the day with my usual sillinesses and uncertainties. I thought I might wake up suddenly able to hem skirts, pick up dropped stitches or address the leaking philangies on my car. No such luck. Nor do I understand interest rates or tipping protocols for hairstylists who work in their own salon versus those who rent a chair somewhere else. The years in cumulation however, have brought greater awareness of who I am, and acceptance of who that is. I have less interest in what people think or believe of me, and a diminished penchant for fixing everyone else's issues, or taking responsibility for those issues.

This last year was a very challenging one, bringing loss and grief with my dad's death; the stress of not one but two moves (one more to come); various and sundry uncertainties, changes, joys and discoveries. I am absolutely certain that while this coming year is going to be very different than I thought it was going to be just months ago, it is going to be a great year, one of fulfilled promise, countless blessings, joy, and new purpose. All in all, that's a pretty good inventory, and I pause today to offer gratitude for all I have been given, and all that is to come.