The Lighthouse

the lighthouse

26 June 2013

This rolling stone asks questions


Because of my nomad existence, there are some areas of human relationships that baffle and befuddle me.  We moved so often that we usually didn't take the time to get to know our neighbours. There certainly was no dropping in on each other uninvited.  A close friendship meant we acknowledged each other as we got in and out of the car in the driveway. Bosom buddies actually knew each other's names and might chat in the street as we passed each other during an evening's constitutional.

Mr. and Mrs. Landlord are excellent landlords.  They are kind, thoughtful, and generous.  They also keep telling me they hardly see me (a circumstance of my own design) and that I really must stop in for coffee some day.

Drop in?  How does that work?  I don't know how to drop in.  I phone ahead when I'm about to walk over to the front of the house and knock on their front door to drop off the rent cheque. I don't know if I'm capable of dropping in with the expectation of being given drinks, and maybe even nibblies. What if they happened to be busy scrubbing the bathroom grout and I've caught them in their grubbiest clothes? What if they wanted a quiet afternoon nap but there I am, expecting them to be sociable?

Are you a dropper-inner?  Are there rules to follow?  Is there a neighbourly etiquette I should know about before I go knocking?  How long does one stay? Will the visit be reciprocated? Do I bring something because it's rude to arrive with empty hands?

Such are the questions of a rolling stone.


  1. I'm decidedly not a dropper-inner. I have done it a few times in my life, and felt awkward every time, so I can't help ya there! But my mom is, and she has a ton of friends who are, so I suspect there really is no etiquette before the drop-in. Simply walk up to the door. Knock. Enter. Drink coffee. Talk. Leave. (I think?)

  2. In your case Tess, dropping in is really not dropping in since you were invited to drop in. See? Simple. Oh, another thing? Wait til the next rent check is due that way you aren't empty handed and take the occasion to introduce them to the Tess the person rather than Tess the tenant. If you are REALLY uncomfortable about dropping in, bring a half drunk bottle of wine with you. You won't care you just dropped in. :)

  3. How did I get to be so lucky as to have such wise friends? You are both quite right.
    Bobby, I like your suggestions, and will put them into play tomorrow.
    Wish me luck!

  4. I love dropping in and I love it even more when people drop in on me. In fact, I wish we still lived in a society that felt comfortable doing it!

    I want my neighbours to feel like it's perfectly okay to ring my doorbell, whether there's a specific reason behind their request or not. I lament the fact that most don't.

    As a child, the women on our street all ended up having babies around the same time. When I got home from school, if my Mom wasn't home, I knew she'd be at a neighbour's house and loved being able to pop over and say hello.

    I with with all my heart that our current neighbourhood would evolve into such an environment. Once those relationships are built, then everyone is comfortable to say "I'm so happy to see you, but I'm just on my way out." Or, "Make yourself at home while I change out of my grout cleaning clothes and I'll make us some tea."

    In the meantime, Tess, sure, bring a little plate of cookies or a plant and just do it! Drop in!!! :o)

  5. Isn't it funny? I wouldn't have taken you for a dropper-inner, Carly. Good to know about you. I will endeavor to drop in on you one day.
    (Would you be open to being dropped upon by Five Peanuts and attendant parents this summer?)

  6. Oh yes! We would be honoured to host the peanuts (as long as they don't actually bring peanuts because death to the Little Man) and their parents this summer!!!