In which A is for Alarm
It’s the crack of dawn.
Actually, it’s before the crack of
dawn. If I had a rooster, it would still
be sleeping right now. But I don’t have a rooster; what I do have is crickets.
They wake me up by chirping incessantly and repetitively until I silence my
phone, whence their simulated sound come. The rooster I don’t have would make a
mental note to itself to eat those crickets at some point during the day, before
they have a chance to try their same nasty trick again tomorrow morning.
I thought the sound of crickets would be
more soothing than, say, a shrieking air-raid siren but I was wrong about that.
Don’t get me wrong – I far prefer the sound of crickets to shrieking sirens of
any stripe, but as a person who jumps out of her skin if you say “Tess!” in a
quiet room, I think anything above the sound of a snail’s glistening slide
would be startling at 6 o’why-am-I-awake.
Are you familiar with Snooze Button
Mathematics? It’s the built-in wiggle room you give yourself the night before
when you set the clock, and the negotiations you undertake in the morning when
the crickets summon you from the blissful arms of…. something wonderful I can
never really remember when awake, but anything dreamt of must be wonderful,
mustn’t it, because you are, after all, asleep. The morning negotiations go
something like this: Do I have to wash my hair this morning? No = 15 extra minutes. Did I remember to pack
a lunch last night? Yes = 5 extra minutes. Do I know what I’m going to wear
today? Yes = 5 extra minutes. Did it snow last night? No = 10 extra minutes (no scraping time
required)
And so on, hopefully netting an extra half
hour during which my pretend rooster and I swat at the crickets every nine
minutes, and otherwise snuggle with great delight into the pillows which
suddenly feel like the most comfortable place on earth (they weren’t as
cooperative the night before during the tossing and turning portion of the
program) (that’s Murphy for you).
Alarm means ‘anxious feeling of danger’ or
to inspire that feeling. Isn’t that a
terrible way to begin the day?
A is for I absolutely love Averything you write. And you knew that already, but knowing stuff like that again never hurts. Awright?
ReplyDeleteNancy, I Admire the Artist in you, and Appreciate the Affirmation you give.
ReplyDeleteI learned about the Blog the Alphabet challenge on your new blog, and thought it was a good writing prompt, so I've joined in.
Hmmm.... what could B possibly be for.....
Your "Snooze Button Mathematics" has given me an idea for a blog post.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, waking up to an alarm is a terrible way to start the day!
Ugh to the alarm.
ReplyDeleteI really look forward to reading your post inspired by Snooze Button Maths. I'll be checking in often!