The Lighthouse

the lighthouse

05 September 2012

Of blogs and robots

Dear folks at Blogger,

First of all, thank you for the opportunity for me to write what I want, when I feel like it.  It makes me feel important to be able to share my inner ramblings with everyone and anyone who happens to wander by.

Secondly, nice job with the product: good updates, interesting layout options and all of that.

There have been slight hitches to the smooth running of things, but so far nothing serious enough to sever the relationship we've been building over the last four years, you and I. If you could just sort out that "logging out from another location" business, I'd say we're golden. (Honestly, a body should be able to post important thoughts and captivating insights from anywhere, not just from home, don't you agree?)

Here's the rub: the word verification process used to be fun. You provided what might actually be actual and real words... and maybe they weren't honest-to-goodness, look 'em up in the dictionary words, but I was able to read them because they were legible! What is this latest fad of woozy, intoxicated fonts with the letters all smooshed up and wobbly?  If being able to interpret those is proof of me not being a robot, I would be curious to discover just where the robots entered my family tree, because try as I might, I can't make heads or tails of them!  Have you considered it may not be roboticism, but astigmatism, and I'd really really like to be able to post my thoughtful and carefully considred comment?

With thanks for your consideration,



  1. Dear Ms. Tess,

    We would like to thank you for your interest in our product. It is people like you that make us the successful company that we are today. We at Google have always considered our customers the most important part of our existence.

    As always, we at Google continually seek to improve our product through the suggestions of our customers and our security features hopefully reflect that. Along with our new security recognition software, we always seek to be a company devoted to diversity and that includes robots.

    We at Google take pride in our ability to see into the future and instill this vision into the present. What may seem at this time a difficult and senseless change, albeit slowly and in a subtle manner, rest assured that our vision includes what we see as the new Man and Woman of the future where indeed robotic implants will be incorporated in all of mankind.

    Though implementation of a Google robotic, computer chip may be lagging in some areas of the world, we are investing vast amounts of resources to make sure that all of mankind is implanted with such a chip thus making verification into your blog a thing of the past. Your implanted chip will transmit a signal to Google with no other forms of verification needed on your part and logging in to your blog, or attempting to verify your I.D. will be a thing of the past. Stay tuned for more updates.

    Again, thank you for your input. You are important to us!

    Google Blog

  2. Dear Google Blog,

    Your humorous response is vastly and delightedly appreciated. However, I am vaguely appalled at your hints of a future of robotic infiltration into humanity.

    Any future correspondence can be forwarded to my isolated (robot-free) island in the unnamed sea. I don't think of it as hiding my head in the sand, but rather withdrawing in order to ponder and pray.

    With kind regards,