Same author, same publisher, sequel title.
"Although, she was driving carefully, not knowing what lay under the drifts, it was still a bouncy ride as she swerved to avoid the dangerous bumps, and the visibility was poor as the snow continued to fall, and the sun's light was a hazy gray at best as it tried to burn its way through the clouds."
Aside from the run-on sentence problem, that first comma confuses me.
Later, at the bottom of page 156, "Carrie fretted her lip." Four paragraphs later, on page 157: "'I never heard about this,' Carrie said, and she began to fret her lower lip with her teeth."
Oh dear.
I'm looking forward to reading book three in the series, to see what new editorial delights await me therein.
I'd like to try "fretting my lip" sometime too.
ReplyDeleteUgh, just, ugh, I can't, believe, the run-on, sentence, much, less, the overuse, of, the, comma.
ReplyDeleteHow does one begin to do something one has already done not five paragraphs earlier? It's that same problem as my first post of wanting to overuse an unusual phrase.
ReplyDeleteBad Editor, bad!
Carly, I, totally, agree, with, you. Commas, sprinkled, like, confetti, drive, me MAD!