BIOF

There's a condition in the House of Nuts which is likely to become more serious as time goes on. We're calling it BIOF - Blame it on FIFA.

It's like this:
Up at the crack of dawn for the first whistle. At half time, get coffee, and make sure all Peanuts are accounted for. Offer them snacks.
Quickly grab something for breakfast during the half hour between games. Make sure all Peanuts are accounted for. Offer them snacks.
At the next half time, quickly brush teeth, throw in a load of laundry... whatever seems necessary. Make sure all Peanuts are accounted for. Offer them snacks.

You should know: snacks keep them quiet. Real food comes now, during the 2 hour break before the next game... like cheese sandwiches. We will eat many cheese sandwiches in the next month.

It's not my fault: Blame it on FIFA!

I may become a little squidgy around the edges, so I advise you to keep your distance. BIOF.
We all may develop scurvy. BIOF.
We may run out of loo paper - there's just no time to shop. BIOF.
All of Europe may be raptured tomorrow, but if it doesn't happen in South Africa, I won't know about it. BIOF.
It's hot and humid - BIOF.