Hair

There she goes again, you say to yourself, whinging about her hair. Doesn't she know about testicular cancer and starvation in the Sudan? (catch the quote?) Yes. Yes, of course I do. However, I allow myself one selfish complaint a day, and I'm going to share this one with you.

I feel we are really getting to know each other. And the best part is, you're already privy to so many of my hair woes that I don't have to enumerate them all again. Here's the deal: last August, I got a really great haircut from the Fabulous Robbie. It was great at the time, but what has made it really great is that it looks better now, having grown a few inches, than it did at the time. Amazing, right? How often does that happen? Typically, going too long between cuts results in shaggy, uncertain, indefinable hair. Not this time, baby! Were I adept enough, I'd snap a photo and post it to show you. (Actually, who are we kidding? We both know I'd never do that). However, the cut is holding up really well. My hair is now long enough that I am able to put it up, and after seeing all the beautiful updos at the Golden Globes last week, I really want to put it up.

Only I can't. Because my hair is my hair. It falls out of its pins when I'm not looking. And speaking of pins, what is a normal amount to use? Three? Seven? 15? I use pins to hold in the pins so whatever number you were thinking, double it. I've got a lot of hair, so add a few more, and while you're at it, stretch them out of shape, too, because if you expect them to hold more than three hairs, they lose their built-in snugness. By this point, I look and feel like a pin cushion, and still the hair slips out - and not in an elegant I'm-nominated-for-best-actress-in-a-movie-or-tv-drama-so-I-know-how-to-wear-a-corset kind of way. Not that she's ever worn a corset, but did you see Sandra Bullock's hair at the Globes? Perfect! A loose something or other on the back of her head (would you call it a bun? A roll? A chignon? A poof? A wig?) with perfectly imperfect curling tendrils escaping over her shoulder. When my hair escapes, it looks as though it broke out of Alcatraz without stopping for styling products.

I would probably have better results if I actually used styling products. There is, no doubt, a pre-updo shampoo I can use to prep my hair for the ordeal to come, followed by a likewise helpful conditioner, and a before-you-blowdry goop. By that point, I think all you have to do is bend your hair in place - inserting pins just for show if you feel it's absolutely necessary.

Have a look around you as you go about your day; I think that you will find that women are once again putting their hair up. It's a flattering, feminine look, one which I'm delighted to see have a resurgence. I however, have run out of pins, and will be sticking to ponytails. Hair!