Do you ever notice that certain people or situations prompt a specific reaction in you, one which you are hard pressed to explain or understand? Someone inexplicably rubs you the wrong way perhaps, and it's not until years later after much inner healing and talk therapy (with your best friend over chocolate ice cream) that you realize that person reminds you of Uncle Herb who embarrassed you at your eighth birthday party. It could also be that specific conditions combine to turn you - normally even-keeled, placid, happy-go-lucky you - into an irrational harridan. That too, after many pints of frozen dairy goodness, you come to see has roots in the past.
There is this tendency in me to behave in a certain way in specific situations which is working my last nerve. I've had enough of it, and am determined to change my ways. I know I am able to respond in those situations like a fully-formed, healthy adult and once I figure out what that is, I'll give it a shot... I just have to let myself do so.
If only it were as easy as saying "I'm going to change"! But don't 'they' say that when the time is right, you just do it? It feels like that time is now, and if I step out in faith all will be well (and all will be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.) Not easy, mind you, but well.
I realize this is cryptic and probably makes no sense to anyone but me (and then only if I pay very close attention) but I think I had to make it very official with an announcement, sending it out there into the void. So good night dear void; I'm going to follow my father's advice and go to bed at once.
There are four quotations in the last two paragraphs. Catch them?